Category: 2. BUY it!

2. BUY it! · Book Review Actions · Book Reviews · Relationships

BR 138: His Needs Her Needs by William F Harley Jr

alearningaday

Category: 2 – BUY it! (All Categories are 1 – Read ASAP!, 2 – BUY it!, 3 – SHELF it, 4 – SOMEDAY it)

Comments: The only reason this book is not on the “Read ASAP” list is because it isn’t applicable to everyone. If you are married or due to get married soon, I’d suggest reading it. For best results, I’d suggest reading it with your partner.

My wife and I read this on our honeymoon and it’s served as a great way to start our journey as husband and wife. William F Harley completely “gets” marriages having been a successful counsellor for many decades. He does what great authors do – puts together a framework to help you think about what makes great marriages truly great. Fantastic book.

Top 3 Learnings

1. We all require our relationships to meet a collection of emotional needs. Some are much more important than others and men and women typically give importance to diametrically opposite needs. For example, top needs for women are affection, honesty and openness, intimate conversation, and financial support while top needs for men are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, physical attractiveness, etc.

2. Great marriages thrive when the needs of the spouse are consciously or unconsciously identified and met. When not met, the disgruntled spouse typically resorts to an affair which meets the need.

3. It’s okay to be “obvious” in trying to meet your partner’s needs. In fact, the obviousness works very well. For example, in the chapter on affection, we saw an example of “affection habits” that a wife wanted in her husband. So, the husband literally put together a list and began working on it every day till it became sub conscious. We are testing it out too and it seems to work really well.

Overall, superb book. We’re very glad we read it and we’re looking forward to “living” it.

Add on Mar 16, 2016: We did live the book. And, it has worked great for us. We still joke about some of the anecdotes from the book and talk about our needs (from the exercise in the book).

2. BUY it! · Book Review Actions · Book Reviews · Creativity · Entrepreneurship · Self Improvement

BR 136: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

alearningaday

Category: 2 – BUY it! (All Categories are 1 – Read ASAP!, 2 – BUY it!, 3 – SHELF it, 4 – SOMEDAY it)

Comments: SO inspiring.

Top 3 Learnings:

1. The “resistance” is the most toxic force on the planet. It’s an internal force of nature that thwarts us every time we try to move from a lower to higher place – when we want to start a new venture, work on a piece of art, or embark on an education of any kind. We move forward when we learn how to fight our resistance.
2. Art is the most noble thing we can set out to do. An artist believes the best lies ahead and constantly works on imagining and creating this future and thus taking the human race forward. This is opposite to the fundamentalist who tries to destroy to take us back to the basics as it is his belief that the best existed in the past.
3. Being an artist is all about behaving like a pro. That involves showing up every day, working on your art relentlessly, listening to feedback, ignoring critics, not taking failure personally, and exhibiting humility and patience.
It’s very hard to just talk about 3 things that I learnt from this book. It is so inspirational.. and Steven Pressfield is such an accomplished writer that attempting to say it in anything but his own words doesn’t do it justice.

Book notes

2. BUY it! · Book Review Actions · Book Reviews · Money

BR 134: I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi

alearningaday

Category: 2 – BUY it! (All Categories are 1 – Read ASAP!, 2 – BUY it!, 3 – SHELF it, 4 – SOMEDAY it)

Comments: Ramit’s book is very US centric but many of the principles hold true wherever you are. I think this book is worth reading because he explains very basic personal money management concepts very well. I liked his no-bullshit approach and his simple-yet-good advice.

Top 3 Learnings:

1. Don’t buy the Dave Ramsey advice of “cancel all your credit cards.” If you are sane about using your credit cards, improving your credit score and credit history can save you 1000s of dollars in terms of better interest rates over a lifetime.

2. The following ratios off your paycheck are healthy –
50-60% Fixed costs – rent, utilities, debts, transport, normal food, health
10% Investment
10% Savings for upcoming expenses vacation, gifts for friends and family
20-30% Guilt free spending

3. Conscious spending is key. Spend on great experiences and never regret.

Book notes.

2. BUY it! · Book Review Actions · Book Reviews · Money

BR 130: The Investors Manifesto by William J Bernstein

alearningaday1 Comment

Category: 2 – BUY it! (All Categories are 1 – Read ASAP!, 2 – BUY it!, 3 – SHELF it, 4 – SOMEDAY it)

Comments: William Bernstein deals with the very basics of investing and dispels some commonly held myths. An excellent book. May not interest everyone but if you are interested in understanding personal finance and investing, it’s a great book.

Top 3 learnings:

1. You don’t invest to get rich, you invest so as to not die poor. Great investments are not risky investments that produce prolific returns. They produce steady returns and avoid worst case scenarios. Of course, you cannot get great returns without great risk.

2. Understanding financial history is critical for a good investor. Long term capital management’s famous failure was because their equation did not take financial history into account.

3. You are your worst enemy. You cannot time the market. Don’t try. And don’t look for patterns in the financial markets. There are none.

—

A collection of other conclusions I put together – if it interests you

A pre condition to being a successful investor is a firm grasp of financial history

– High returns can only be achieved with high risk

– losing money in a bear market is a part of being investor

– study and understand the Gordon equation to calculate real returns

– whenever you buy or sell an individual stock or bond, you are competing against the best in the world

– Stocks: a growth company stock generally pays out less than a collection of bad company stocks

– primary decision as investor is overall mix of stocks and bonds. Diversify diversify.

– focus on the portfolio. Do not pay too much attention to best/worst. They change.

– You are your worst enemy. You cannot time the market. Don’t try.

– Don’t look for patterns in the financial markets. There are none.

– Stock brokers are out to fleece you. It’s the nature of the business

– Mutual funds aren’t different unless they are owned by stakeholders/ are private

– Live as modestly as you can and save as you can for as long as you can

– The best gift to your heirs is not cold hard cash. Rather its the ability to save, spend wisely and invest prudently

– Remember pascal wager – goal of investing is not to get rich but to not die poor

– index fund – consistent 8/10. It will never hit 10/10 but it won’t be a 1/10 either. Returns are proportional to risk…..

– Pro Tip – House: Whenever you go to a realtor, find out what the house rents at and multiply by 150. If you are charged above that, you are paying too much.

2. BUY it! · Book Review Actions · Book Reviews · Entrepreneurship · Philosophy

BR 126: Anything you want by Derek Sivers

alearningaday2 Comments

Category: 2 – BUY it! (All Categories are 1 – Read ASAP!, 2 – BUY it!, 3 – SHELF it, 4 – SOMEDAY it)

Comments: Really simple, quick and breezy read. Again, my rating is likely biased by the fact that I am fully aligned with Derek’s way of looking at the world. He’s another one of those who walks his talk and I find him very inspirational.

Top 3 learnings:

1. REALLY understand what you want. It’s very easy to get caught up in a rat race where you end up chasing things you don’t really want. In Derek’s case, he made many decisions – to give up a large portion of what he made to charity, to not own a house or car.. He realized he’s very happy where is and doesn’t “need” too much more. And, he wanted to stay that way..

My sense here is that we often lose touch with our soul as we grow/progress. Keep checking in with very simple questions – is this what I want? Am I really happy?

2. Small can be brilliant. Derek made CDBaby class by attempting to always keep it small, but world class. The funny paradox – the less you need or aim for money, the more of it comes. (true of many things in life)

3. The best way to delegate is to share your thought process with your team. They need to always know the answer to “What will ___ do?” – not by just cataloguing answers to every possible question but by understanding the principles behind a decision.

Derek did this at CDBaby by getting all his employees together every time they had a question and then answering it by describing the principles and thought process to all. He then made sure they documented the answer.. Over time, the number of questions reduced and new employees had a “hand book” to understand the CDBaby.

A note of caution – delegate but do not abdicate/ delegate but keep control. Derek’s abdication resulted in his employees instituting a profit sharing scheme that went against his principles. A chain of events followed leading to Derek selling CDBaby.

2. BUY it! · Book Review Actions · Book Reviews · Entrepreneurship · Novel Concepts and Interesting Research · Self Improvement

BR 124: The Icarus Deception by Seth Godin

alearningaday

Priority: 2 – BUY it!  (All Categories are 1) Read ASAP! 2) BUY it! 3) SHELF it 4) SOMEDAY it)

Comments: I really enjoyed “The Icarus Deception.” I am sure this rating comes with a few biases – I am a huge fan of Seth’s work. I love Seth’s blog and I am very appreciative of the fact that he’s taken the time to respond to many of my questions to him and even read and comment on my blog every once a while. He walks his talk.

The Icarus Deception meant a coming together of many interesting concepts for me. His explanation of work we do as “art” resonated as well as many really inspirational learnings on “the infinite game.”

This is not a step-by-step sort of book. Very high level and conceptual. And, very inspiring if you are aligned with Seth’s world view.

Top 3 learnings:

1. “Art is an attitude, culturally driven and available to everyone who chooses to adopt it. Art isn’t something sold in a gallery or performed on a stage. Art is the unique work of a human being, work that touches another. Most painters, it turns out, aren’t artists after all – they are safety seeking copycats.

Art isn’t something that’s made by artists. Artists are people who make art. ”

2. While the differences between work and play are widely documented, the differences between the  “finite” game and the “infinite” game are not.

The finite game theory assumes that life is a series of finite games with winners and losers. There is pressure to be the “one.”

The infinite game theory has a different purpose – the purpose is to help other players play better! It isn’t about winning and losing but about the joy of playing. The wonderful thing about the infinite game is that you avoid the manic highs or lows.. The privilege is in playing.

3. Seth’s advice to his younger self.

“But the one thing I wish I had known then was that whatever happens, things are going to fine in the end, that the pain is part of the journey, and that without the pain there really isn’t a journey worth going on.

No, it doesn’t all work, but you always get to dance. Win or lose, you get to play. I would tell myself not to put so much emotional baggage on every project and every interaction. The goal is to keep playing, not to win.

At the end of a project, the end of the day, and the end of the game, you can look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that at least you go to dance.”

More on http://www.alearningaday.com/2013/02/on-infinite-game

(The only trouble with sharing Seth’s learnings is that I am forced to quote them. That’s because they are so well written that any paraphrasing makes it less crisp and meaningful. A great example of where I’d like to be as a writer.)

Add on Mar 16, 2016: Seth’s advise to his younger self about  getting rid of what he termed the “manic high” and focusing on playing the infinite game is an idea that has stayed with me.

2. BUY it! · Novel Concepts and Interesting Research · Psychology · Self Improvement

BR 121: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

alearningaday

Priority: 2 – BUY It!  (All Categories are 1) Read ASAP! 2) BUY it! 3) SHELF it 4) SOMEDAY it)

Comments: Great research put together by an excellent writer. It is the equivalent of a Dan Brown-esque page turner for the psychology genre.

Top 3 Learnings:

1. We are creatures of habit – every one of us – much more than we realize. Habits are the “efficiency” unit of our brains and almost everything we do comes down to the habits we have in place. Luckily, these habits can be shaped and broken. Great people are just by-products of great habits.

2. A habit is a combination of a cue, an routine and a reward. e.g. To form an exercise habit, the cue could be leaving your clothes near your bed, the routine is exercise of course and the reward could be a cup of coffee!

3. There are some habits that are critical – called keystone habits. These are habits that influence almost all other habits. For manufacturing companies like Alcoa, safety was found to be the keystone habit. For humans, it has been found to be exercise.. (this has inspired me to no end to change exercise routines from 2-3 times a week to 5 times a week).

2. BUY it! · Book Review Actions · Psychology · Self Improvement

BR 115: Quiet by Susan Cain

alearningaday

Category: 2 – BUY it! (All Categories are 1 – Read ASAP!, 2 – BUY it!, 3 – SHELF it, 4 – SOMEDAY it)

Comments: A very good book. Make that very very good particularly if you are an introverted person.

Susan Cain nicely lays out many of the things about modern society that are overly extrovert focused and thus, broken.

My only issue is that Susan falls prey to her own stereotyping very often i.e. she tends to describe or refer to introverts as a shy, lonely bunch. While that may be true for the majority, it sometimes tends to discount the fact that you can possess very good social skills as an introvert. In parts, it feels a bit more autobiographical/biographical than it should be.

Top 3 learnings:

1. Introverts kick ass. No, seriously. Susan brings out a lot of evidence of the power of introverts. And a lot of it makes intuitive sense since introverts do tend to do well in roles that require reflection and serious thought.

2. When you build, manage teams and organize gatherings, events, meetings and offsites – make allowances for both the introverts and the extroverts. As a team leader, make sure introverts have enough non group time. And as an offsite organizer, make sure there is enough personal time in the agenda for introverts to recuperate.

3. As a parent, watch for your child’s preference of introversion and extroversion. It may turn out that your child’s preferences are opposite to yours. Many extroverted parents respond to this by taking their child to a psychologist! Beware..

2. BUY it! · Book Review Actions · Book Reviews · Leadership · Marketing · Novel Concepts and Interesting Research · Self Improvement

BR 110: Start with Why by Simon Sinek

alearningaday1 Comment

Category: 2 – BUY it! (All Categories are 1 – Read ASAP!, 2 – BUY it!, 3 – SHELF it, 4 – SOMEDAY it)

Comments: It hammers home a simple idea and really demonstrates the power of a (simple) framework in making ideas stick. Only downside is that it can occasionally be repetitive – but, maybe, that is the point. :)

Top 3 learnings:

1. Start with Why

2. Start with Why. Then move to the ‘how’ and the ‘what’.

3. Start with Why. Always explain your purpose.

I have been working on implementing this in everything I do. It hasn’t become habitual yet but I’m hoping it will become soon. A simple, really powerful idea.

There are lots of other little lessons from the book that I could list in the top 3 learnings but I fear diluting what I really took away from the book.

2. BUY it! · Bio/Autobiographies · Book Review Actions · Business · Money

BR 107: The Big Short by Michael Lewis

alearningaday2 Comments

Category: 2 – BUY it! (All Categories are 1 – Read ASAP!, 2 – BUY it!, 3 – SHELF it, 4 – SOMEDAY it)

Comments: I am fast becoming a Michael Lewis fan. I loved the 2 movies his books inspired ‘The Moneyball’ and his fantastic article on Vanity Fair detailing the Irish bubble. ‘The Big Short’ was recommended to me by a colleague as a great book on the financial crisis.

This book takes a look at the unique characters who actually saw the collapse of the financial system coming and details the trials, tribulations and change they went through before and after the crisis.

Great book. A Dan Brown-esque page turner for those with an interest in understanding how we got to the biggest financial crisis since the great depression.

Top 3 Learnings:

1. ‘There is a fine line that divides investing and gambling.’ Not a new learning but the whole book’s essential synthesis was re-learning this concept.

2. The concept of rating agencies like S&P, Moody’s, Fitch and the like are broken. They are easily fooled by the smarter investment bankers far too often.

3. It’s amazing how badly broken the financial system was/is. When we pause for a moment, the financial system doesn’t really create anything. Yet, it accounted for 40% of the US economy in 2007. Banks essentially went from organizations that helped provide capital to businesses to profit generation machines. Sprinkle generous amounts of greed and take away any sense of principles/values from the dish and you can see the recipee for disaster.

And one more..

4. It’s amazing how each of the ‘outliers’ who actually saw the crisis coming was, by all accounts, a weirdo in his own right. Even the smartest people out there drank their own kool aid and got deluded in the mass hysteria.